Disclaimer: The following is strictly opinion and observation. If you don't agree that's fine because I respect your opinion.
"There are two rules when it comes to FRG/town hall meetings:
1. Don't raise your hand.
2. Don't ask questions."
I was given this set of instructions on my way to my first town hall meeting of my Army wife life. I laughed and thought it was funny, but yesterday I began to realize it was some of the best advice given. These meetings are no where near what I had expected in the beginning and I blame TV.
I started watching Army Wives several years ago. There was something relatable about it and until some other shows recently it was the only one that could make me cry my eyes out and legitimately feel sad. They show women from all walks of life in the Army, from General's wives to enlisted personnel. Except the one relatable enlisted family decided to go to officer route, which made me a little mad because enlisted people need love too, but I digress. Now that I'm a Army wife, I realize how much of a misrepresentation this show is.
One aspect that this show pushes hard is the Family Readiness Group (FRG). You see many meetings of this group on the show. Always it is a group of wives meeting together to plan parties and events, fundraisers, and that is about it. There are no husbands or military personnel present at the meetings and the FRG leader does all the talking. You also see members of the FRG bringing new wives dinner to welcome them to the unit or pie because their husband is deployed. Lately the show had been depicting these town hall meetings as well, which is also led by the head of the FRG.
Let me tell you, this is not the way it works in real life. For one, no one brought me dinner to welcome me to the unit. We could have used some free dinner too! The meetings that I have attended are full of more husbands without their wives, than wives without their husbands. The reason for that is most guys are bribed to attend with a late call or it's just plain mandatory for them to be there. Most of the time the meetings are led by a Brigade/Squadron/Company commander and then the FRG leader stands up at the end and says some thing along the lines of, "We need more people to sign up for the FRG," and that's about it. To be honest I've had a bad taste in my mouth for the FRG ever since I was told by an FRG leader that I was not authorized to be a part of their website when I was just a fiance and we were going through a deployment. Turns out, I was authorized and I figured out how to join on my own. She was not helpful and in no way nice.
Now, because these meetings are not full of just civilian women and your husband's peers, bosses and his bosses bosses are present this is where the rules above come into effect. Last night at the town hall meeting we attended, we were getting briefed on how this sequestration was going to affect Ft. Bragg and mostly its civilian personnel. The Brigade Commander was doing all the talking and then it came time for questions. Now, this man did a good job of explaining how the sequestration was going to impact the areas of schools and daycare. There are going to be furloughs for civilian workers and schools are going to be closing one day a week and the same for daycare facilities.
A wife raised her hand, rule #1 broke, and begins to complain about how it's not fair that she has to pay for day care for 5 days a week when she's only getting 4. The Colonel calmly explained that she's only paying for the daycare she is receiving. Any normal person would realize that she is only going to be paying for 4 days, but this woman kept going with what she was saying and insisting that it's not fair she has to pay for the whole week and he kept assuring her that she's not paying extra. Finally he just shook his head and moved onto the next question.
Another wife, after hearing several times that this meeting was mainly talking about civilian personnel, asked him (rule #2 broken) if because civilian hours were getting cut, does that mean that military personnel won't be working long hours either? *At this point I'm smacking my forehead.* People are laughing, the Colonel is shaking his head and saying no and her husband had to be shrinking in his seat.
This was all observation and somewhat entertaining to me last night. Because these meetings are not in a room full of women who can talk to their heart's content, it's in a setting where not a lot of discussion can take place if a wife does have a question and it's full of your husband's peers, bosses, and bosses' bosses, just adhere to the two simple rules. Don't embarrass your husband. Talk with him afterwards if you have questions or find that elusive FRG leader and ask her if you don't understand something.
