Remembering

Above: My dad's dad, Homer Mann

Below: My mom's dad, Wade Hahn.

 

On this Memorial Day, I'm a granddaughter and a girlfriend of three soldiers,

who I've thought about constantly today.

I miss all three of them like you wouldn't believe.

My grandpas both passed away a few months apart from each other when I was 10.

I wish they were still alive so I could ask them what the ARMY was like for them.

James is currently serving in the army and I'm patiently waiting for him to come home.

I was with him through every step of the signing up process and have come to really know and respect our military today (well most things anyways).

I'm super proud of him and all of the men and women in my life who have served or who are still serving in our U.S. Military.

I hope everyone had a good long weekend with their family and loved ones!

Four Years

Four years ago today, I started dating my sweetheart.
Happy Anniversary love!

How?

I've been staring at this screen for a few minutes now trying to figure out what to write.

How can I write a blog that follows OPSEC?

Or honestly, how can I write a blog that I know he'll approve of (ha!).

Can't post, put up, or profile picture the pictures of him in uniform because he's asked his loved ones not to multiple times.

Can't say where or when.

Can't do anything that would bring anyone any sort of harm.

How can I convey how much I miss him already?

Especially this weekend.

Especially because not only is tomorrow Memorial Day, but our anniversary.

Especially because even though I've prayed for strength and toughness, it feels wrong to be doing this OK.

Guess it just comes down to those three words.
I love you.
I miss you.
Come home safe.

Thank You Letters

I graduated from California State University Long Beach!

 Hurray!



Dear CSULB,
Thank you for all you've taught me over the last two years. I'm sad to see our time together end.

Dear Journalism faculty,
Thank you for preparing me for the long road ahead.
I admire you more than you know and am so grateful that I got to sit underneath you for the last few years.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Dear Mass Media Law,
You are the most repeated/deleted class in our department...take that!

Dear Creative Writing instructors,
Before I started learning from you I couldn't write a poem to save my life...
now I'm a published poet.
I couldn't write a story for anything and now I've written three.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Dear Mom and Dad,
You two are the most amazing people I know.
Thank you for your love and support through the last five years of my life.
Today was just as much your day as it was mine.

Dear POSC 100,
You will be over on the 10th...I will pass you with an A.

Dear CSULB Friends,
Thank you for making long days at school and last minute cramming sessions so fun.

Dear Roommates (and Karen),
Thank you for coming today!
And for making our home so much fun.
I love living with you guys and I'm really going to miss you.

Dear Love of My Life,
Even though you couldn't be here today, thank you so much for your support and love.
There were times where you talked me out of giving up and I can't thank you enough for that.
I missed you more than you'll ever know today.

Dear Candace,
I will try and get that job.

Dear Rebecca,
You're next!

Dear Corinne Elizabeth,
Thank you for being down here these last two years!
Don't know what I would have done without you!

Dear Grandparents,
You are wonderful.
Thank you for coming down here to celebrate with me today.



Dear Friends and Other Family,
There are way too many of you to name and thank, so this blanket thank you will have to do.
I'm incredibly grateful for all your love and support over the years.
My life has been shaped and changed by so many of you and I'll never forget it.
Thank you so much for all that you've done!

Hard to care

I would not say that I'm a political person.

I can't stand political ads,

I'm not well versed on political measures,

I don't really know anything about the people that are in office

and,

at certain times over the last three years, I've felt super disappointed in the way people have responded to Obama's presidency, especially people who are Christ followers.

I firmly believe in Romans 13:1, which says:

Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. (NLT)

That does not mean I believe that this guy is doing a good job at running our country or that I believe in what he says or does, I just think that instead of trying to nail this guy as a fake or trying to hang him and his politics, we should be trusting in a much higher figure and know that He's got this in His hands and one day we'll all have to account for what we've done...including the President of the United States.

That being said, for the next three weeks and 9 sessions of my intersession class, 

I'm going to have to care about politics and politicians.

My first exam is tomorrow...kill me now.

My first assignment is due Thursday...kill me now.

Summer is so close I can taste it.

I better be a lot more knowledgeable when this is all said and done.

It's no secret

That I'm in love with North Carolina.

Have been for years and the fact that some of my absolute favorite people live there is just an added bonus!

I'm super bummed out because this week it just so happens that three of my favorite North Carolina relatives were in California...and I didn't get to see them!

I shouldn't be that sad because we're going there in about two months, but still it would have been fun to show them around my hood.

Right now my aunt and uncle are in Salinas with the rest of my family 

and from the sound of it on the phone they're having a great time.

Those two, besides my parents, are such a huge inspiration to me.

I can't wait to go back!

come home soon

I'm surviving and not crying a lot! Hurray! This is a big step because I'm one of the most emotional girls I know.  Over the last several days, I found a few things that keep me sane and comforted when it gets tough...

Staying busy...busy, busy, busy...

My phone is never out of sight/hearing range.

Dual time clock and countdown on my screen.

I pray a lot.

Did I mention I'm staying busy?

I really miss him way too much already.

Now what??

I am done, done, done...with Spring 2011 semester anyways!

I will be walking in my college graduation ceremony on Thursday

and finishing my last class/taking my last final ever on June 10th.

What the heck comes next?

I've been in school my whole life.

I've honestly never known a life without learning and being in a classroom several times a week.

Another thing I've been thinking about is how this blog is going to change too.

I started it when I moved away to go to Long Beach and now that it's over, it's kind of like it's an end of an era for this too.

There's probably gonna be a lot of, "What am I doing with my life?" posts in the next year,

be patient with me while I figure it out.

Thursday Photoday

 

Taking a break for lunch from studying for Law.

Thought I share some awesome photos.

from stumbleupon.com and pinterst.com

 I'd love to have a barn like this in my backyard.

Can I please paint a heart on my floor?

Turquoise!

Santa Cruz...love.

 

Love these types of photographs

I miss being young with my sisters.

Such a cool picture.

Every moment..

 

This picture was taken a little less than a year ago, at the beginning of Fall 2010 semester.

The girl on the left is my best friend.  I'm sure you've seen me mention her a million times on here.

The girl on my right is my friend, Maegan.  She's been Corinne's roommate since just a few days before that picture was taken and she is such a funny, sweet, and wonderful lady.  

I'm glad she became part of our lives.

Today my heart is breaking for Maegan and her family.

All I want to do is be able to give her a hug and take away some of her hurt.

I know that Corinne and all her close friends feel the same way too.

Make sure you take hold of every moment you can with the people that you love and tell them how much they mean to you.

You never know when they might not be there anymore.

Two down...three to go

Finals attire!

Today I knocked out two finals and have just three more to go before Spring 2011 ends.

I still don't feel all that excited, even though I do get to walk on the 26th and I'm pretty sure I was able to declare my creative writing minor so late in the game today.

I finish school and then have a weekend of work before I'm right back in the class room Monday thru Friday, 9 am to 1 pm for three weeks.
This hype about being done can't get to me or those three weeks are going to be hell.

Now I'm off to study for Law. 

Happy Tuesday!

Ridiculously old.

Tonight did not go as planned.

I had to get something out of my "Sent" folder in my email and found a treasure trove of incredibly old pictures.

One of them made me extremely happy though, even if I wasted like an hour looking at these.

My first love was horses and he was my first.

Buck.

Such a stubborn horse, but he was incredibly fun to have for the short time that I did.

The day I found out he had broken his leg and had to be put down was one of the saddest I'd had.

I miss riding and I miss the country.

Well hello there!

My freckles are back.

Makes me excited.

Week in review

Little questions for this week from my little book.

May 7:  Who would play you in a movie about your life?  Is it a good movie?

Kerri Russell, when her hair was long.  It is a good movie!  My life has been awesome so far.

May 8:  Who do you think is cute?

Ok, little book, what am I? A middle schooler?

But if you must know I think my boyfriend is incredibly cute. 

And Hayden Christensen.

May 9:  What do you want to postpone?

 May 12...for about two more years.

May 10: How did you start you day?

By getting up and getting in the shower.

That's how I start everyday!

May 11: How do you want to be remembered?

I want to be remembered as someone who lived life and loved others.

This song sums it up pretty well.

 

May 12:  What are you exploring?

I'm exploring a whole different aspect of my long distance relationship.

May 13:  Who loves you today?

   My family, Corinne, James, God...and a few other people. Such a weird question!

May 14:  What makes a good enemy?

I don't want any enemies good or bad.

I wouldn't even know where to begin to answer that question.

"If you still want me"

"Honey tie a yellow ribbon 'round the ole oak tree
It's been three long years
And I want to know if you still want me?
If I don't see a ribbon 'round the ole oak tree
I'll gonna stay on the bus
And forget about us, put the blame on me
If I don't see a yellow ribbon round the ole oak tree.

Now the whole bus is cheering and I can't believe I see
A hundred yellow ribbons round the ole oak tree..."

Luckily, I don't have to wait three long years for him to come home,

but even if I did...

there would be a hundred yellow ribbons around whatever trees I could find.

Oak or otherwise.

I hope you have an amazing weekend lovelies. 

Make sure to spend as much time with the people that you love if you can.

One month.

Graduation is right around the corner.

It's May 10th right now (for one more hour anyways),

and on June 10th, I will take my last final and be done.

Can you say excited? Relieved? Scared?

2007 and 2011

These make me so happy!  Same place! Same wall! Same (just older) us!

The picture on the right was taken before we were officially dating in May, 2007.  

The picture on the left was taken almost exactly four years later, just a month short of our four year anniversary.
 

I miss him like crazy.

In My Eyes

"In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes"

- Martina McBride, "In My Daughter's Eyes"

I hope one day that I can be a reflection of my mom.

I hope that one day I can be just as good of one to my kids, as she's been to Candace, Becca, Matt, and me.

Honestly I can't wait to have kids of my own, so that I can call her up and tell her that I understand.

I'll understand why she did what she did and what it was like for her over the course of each one of our lives.

I can't wait.

Happy Mother's Day Mom.

I love you.

Dreams Change.

Isn't it funny how dreams change?

Whether you're young or old, there has to be something that you once dreamed about.

Maybe it came true.

Maybe it didn't.

Maybe your dream just changed into a new one.

I used to dream a lot.

Scheming in my head, daydreaming, or laying in bed for hours planning my life and how my dreams were going to be a part of it.

For example,

I used to want to do this as a career...

Then that dream changed into this...

Which finally changed to this...

Killer whales to journalism, go figure!

It's probably just because it's Mother's Day and this blog post and this blog post made me tear up twice today and because I have one of the most amazing moms I know, but I would give up my dream of being a journalist for one of these...

(A wedding...not those cute boots!)

And one or two of these eventually...

Just being completely honest.

Holy Stress Batman

^^^^^

This is me tonight.

I keep crying randomly on and off today and I'm stressed out beyond words.

There's so many things that need to be done before Thursday and so little time to do them in.

For example; 

write, record, and edit a 15 minute podcast...

finish compiling my last few pieces, write three responses, organize, find graphics, and bind a 30 piece poetry anthology...

Rewrite one of my two short novels...

Rewrite/type up notes to turn in...

Finish writing a random acts of interpretation paper...

Compile, type up, and present a Mass Media legal brief....

I'm pretty sure that's it.  If I think of something else it might make me cry again. This whole semester has been a breeze work wise and now teachers decided to lay it on thick the week before finals.  Thanks a lot!

Well lovelies, I have to open the gym tomorrow so I need to head off to bed.

Wish me luck and pray for me if you think about it, cause I sure need it.

Night!

Letters

Dear Angry Birds,

Why are you so addicting? There's really nothing that awesome about you, but I can't stop playing!

Dear Homework,

I'm sorry I've saved you for this weekend. Someone really needs to light a fire under my @$$ until June 10.

Dear June 10,

Please hurry up and come. 

Dear Girls Laying by The Pool Today,

I found myself insanely jealous of you as you laid out today while I had to rush to eat and get back to school.

Must be nice to just lounge around in the middle of the afternoon.

 Dear LAF,

I really don't know what to do with you anymore.

Dear Corinne,

Thanks for coming to hang out with me tonight.

Dear Man Who Has My Heart,

Come back.

Dear Life After College,

Quit being the one question I get asked almost everyday.

I don't know what I'm going to do with you yet.

I might like a break.

How does that sound?

Dear Reader,

Have a wonderful weekend/Mother's Day.

New Stumbles

Hope you enjoy my finding's as much as I did!

Really liked this burlap and bling idea for a wedding.

I would love to have a colorful house like this some day.

If it wasn't 90 degrees outside, I'd want some of this.

Would love to visit some of these places.

I want every single one of these outfits.

This poem is a good representation of my life...I wish I'd written it first.

Happy Tuesday!
Just think, tomorrow is hump day!

Poetry Time

Marie Antoinette’s Discussion

I was lonely, sad, and afraid when I first came to France.

Nothing was familiar, just completely foreign,

everything except for the cake.

The French and Austrian bakers must have

traded secrets and tips across the border,

because their cakes were the same.

Delicious. Sweet. Moist. Comforting.

When the people of France were in

turmoil, I imagined them to be

lonely, sad, and afraid, as I looked

out the windows of Versailles and

I wanted to help them, to comfort them.

I gave them the only piece of advice that brought

me cheer when I said,

“Let them eat cake.”

Proud.

Yesterday was a rough one, from the moment I woke up, to the minute I finally fell asleep.

But around 9:00 last night, I heard some news.

I think this is really good news and it made me proud.

It also made me realize that even though what I'm going through and will be going through for awhile

 is hard and it sucks,
there's a point to it.