LDR

Photo by Jennifer Ciani

*Rant*

Tonight will hopefully be the last time (for awhile) that I'm sitting on my bed crying about the distance between me and the man I love.  That photograph above made my heart wrench a little bit tonight.  Far too many times in the past five years I've done that very same thing.  Walked away crying and repeated to myself, "Don't turn around. Just keep walking. Don't turn around. Just keep walking," over and over again.  Way too many couples take for granted the time that they get to spend together.  It is precious and it is something that you should be thankful for
every. single. day.

It is commonly said that the groom doesn't have a say or won't want to have a say in the planning of his wedding.  This, my friends, is complete bullshit. At least where I'm concerned.  I need his input and I really would like his help right about now.  Planning a wedding while you are still in a long distance relationship is hard.  In fact, I think I'm finding it harder to deal with then I did a deployment.  Not a day has gone by over this planning time that I haven't had something I need to ask him or want his opinion on.  This will be OUR day and what our guests see is going to be the product of a lot of text messages and phone calls back and forth in regards to what our wedding should be like.

All of that being said, I cannot wait for my long distance relationship to be over.  We have a TON of catching up to do and the rest of our lives to spend doing just that.  I have a feeling we're going to be "dating" each other for many, many years to come and I'm completely happy with that.

*This concludes the rant portion of tonight*

monday

 Maybe Monday

Maybe I couldn't push myself to run more than a mile today.

Maybe my mom and I made another recipe from the Pioneer Woman's blog.

Maybe I feel really weird every time I go into Home Depot by myself.

Maybe I don't normally like surprises, but I'm excited for my surprise bridal shower my sister is planning.

Maybe I really started stressing about money and things we have to do in the next 110 days.

Maybe babysitting for 18 kids makes me feel really confident about my future-mothering skills.

Maybe I've been more bitter about moving home than I thought.

Maybe I really, really miss my future husband...like really, really.

Love is in the air.

Happy Valentine's Day lovelies!

All photos via pinterest

I hope that every single one of you have an amazing day, 

whether you're loving on a significant other or just yourself.

I'm actually not so sad about this V-day. Why might you ask?

Well it's my last one that I'm going to spend without the love of my life.

We did get to celebrate early last week.  I wasn't aware that it was a Valentine's Day date until after an amazing dinner, but I did get surprised and spoiled with all the fun gifts that I've never been able to get before and I loved every single one of them.  My Valentine is pretty dang amazing and sweet.

Make sure you tell your loved ones that you are so happy they're in your life and that you appreciate them today and every single day.  

And now a tiny preview of our engagement pictures taken by my ever-so-talented sister...
Happy Valentine's Day my almost husband. My heart is yours and I can't wait to marry you.

Wishes for everyday life

Today was a normal day.

We did everyday errands.

Waited at the DMV, got taxes done, shopped for new running shoes, took a nap (me), and played video games (him).

The only thing I'm wishing for today is that September would hurry up and come.

These regular things should not feel like Christmas all the time.

I'm ready to trade my once-in-a-while relationship, for an everyday marriage.

Go say hi to Brooke and see what everyone else is wishing for today!

Have a good night lovelies!

Untying this dang yellow ribbon

I'm taking down my virtual yellow ribbon.

Because we're done!

 Haven't been able to sleep since 5 this morning, because I've been so happy and excited.

Day 21...Wait, what did you say?

 

I know it's already supposed to be Day 22, but I'm still up and according to my cousin Will, the day doesn't end until you go to sleep, so I'm gonna blog about Day 21.

Today (or tonight), I am thankful for modern technology, even though it may not work all the time.

In a age where internet did not exist, military girlfriends, fiances, and wives had to actually write hand-written letters to their men overseas.

We'd be so happy we could cry together
and then we'd love the way we used to do.
I wish that I could hide inside this letter
and seal me up and send me off to you.
Special delivery,
I'd V-Mail this female to you.
—Nat Simon and Charlie Tobias, “I Wish That I Could Hide Inside This Letter,” 1943

I found this really awesome paper written by a girl at the University of Wisconsin, about letter writing during World War II and in it she wrote, "A 1945 document entitled “Annual Report to the Postmaster General”compared the volume of mail between the fiscal years 1943-1945. In 1943 when the war was well

underway, 570 million pieces of mail were sent. This increased to 1.4 billion in 1944 and rose again in 1945 when 2.5 billion pieces of mail were dispatched. These figures reflect only the letters sent to the Army, a similar increase can be seen for letters mailed to sailors in the Navy."

That's a ton of letters!

I'm thankful that today it's easier to send hand written letters overseas than it used to be and that it's even easier when I can just send an e-mail from my computer or my phone and I know it will instantly be in an inbox, waiting to be read.

I'm thankful for my smart phone that lets me be connected anywhere, at anytime, for those random days when communication is possible and if I hadn't been near an electronic device that opportunity would have been missed.

I'm also thankful that even if the internet acts up and I have to talk, wait a minute for my voice to be heard and then another minute to get a response back, I can still hear his voice and we can still have a conversation.

Day 3

Day 3: The Love of My Life!

First picture after we got engaged

Today, and everyday, I am thankful for the man I'm going to marry very soon.

He's been my best friend for years and let me tell you, I'm thankful that our relationship started off that way.

I'm so glad that he loves me for who I am and puts up with my faults.

I love that he loves my family and that they love him.
I'm thankful that he wants our marriage to be strong and that he's willing to work on it with me!

I'm super thankful that our long distance relationship is going to end in a very good way!

Thinking...

That's pretty much all I've been thinking lately.

Except for a little while tonight, while the house was so loud you could barely think.

Over 20 of us were eating, laughing, drinking and watching Wipeout together in honor of Becca's birthday.

Yeah...we're still celebrating that girl...just kidding, I don't really mind.

Tomorrow we're gonna watch her skydive, along with her boyfriend and a really good family friend.

Is it wrong to be so nervous for them??

I'll come back with lots of pictures and the full story tomorrow!

Woke up...

via

to the best "Breaking News" update from CNN on my phone ever.

Read about it here...here...and here.

I hope that your weekend is off to a great start like mine!!

Keeping it in check

via

Confession time!

Lately I've been having a hard time keeping my "long distance relationship bitchness" under tight control.

Don't worry though, I'm trying to get it back in check.

I'm just ready to see him again.

Hard to write

I'll just be honest with you, I've been avoiding writing my "yellow ribbon" posts lately.

They're hard to write and I feel like they might cause me more harm then good.

But for some reason I really wanted to write one today.

We're almost to the halfway mark of half a year.

Does that make sense?

I don't think I've ever been through something more frustrating than deployment.

It is teaching me patience and to trust in God more, not just with my life, but with my love's as well.

Modern technology/my phone/my computer are three things that are making this bearable. 

I don't know what I would do without them...well except write even more letters than I already am.

Even though it doesn't feel like it, time is passing and it will come to an end eventually

and I'll be waiting anxiously!

"Oh, that

I could

shrink the

surface of

the world,

so that 

suddenly

I might 

find you

standing

at my side!"

(wang chien)

I'm missing my sweetheart a lot today...but the few minutes of conversation 

we got to have made me incredibly happy.

Almost to the month-and-a-half mark, but I'm ready for it to be over!

A month??

Has it really almost been a month already?

Good grief!

I'm so torn between feeling like...

A. That went by fast, we can do this!

or

B. Oh my gosh, we still have such a long way to go!

Now that I stop to think about it, I probably feel an equal mixture of both.

The last few weeks have flown right on by and I've been handling this incredibly well.

I will say that if it was not for my smart phone that lets me have access to everything my computer does,

there's no way I could be this calm! You can't really do real life with your computer glued to your lap!

However, no matter how I'm feeling about this last month, I'm still always counting down to this...

Borrowed

Four Years

Four years ago today, I started dating my sweetheart.
Happy Anniversary love!

How?

I've been staring at this screen for a few minutes now trying to figure out what to write.

How can I write a blog that follows OPSEC?

Or honestly, how can I write a blog that I know he'll approve of (ha!).

Can't post, put up, or profile picture the pictures of him in uniform because he's asked his loved ones not to multiple times.

Can't say where or when.

Can't do anything that would bring anyone any sort of harm.

How can I convey how much I miss him already?

Especially this weekend.

Especially because not only is tomorrow Memorial Day, but our anniversary.

Especially because even though I've prayed for strength and toughness, it feels wrong to be doing this OK.

Guess it just comes down to those three words.
I love you.
I miss you.
Come home safe.

come home soon

I'm surviving and not crying a lot! Hurray! This is a big step because I'm one of the most emotional girls I know.  Over the last several days, I found a few things that keep me sane and comforted when it gets tough...

Staying busy...busy, busy, busy...

My phone is never out of sight/hearing range.

Dual time clock and countdown on my screen.

I pray a lot.

Did I mention I'm staying busy?

I really miss him way too much already.

2007 and 2011

These make me so happy!  Same place! Same wall! Same (just older) us!

The picture on the right was taken before we were officially dating in May, 2007.  

The picture on the left was taken almost exactly four years later, just a month short of our four year anniversary.
 

I miss him like crazy.

Balancing Act

I'm realizing that I have no balancing skills when it comes to

having my love around and going through my daily routines.

I just want my regular life to pause, stop, go away, and let us have uninterrupted time together before it goes away again...this time for longer than usual.

At the same time, I'm relishing in the normalcy that we get to have for a little while.

Either way...

I'm just really happy right now.

A needed conversation.

I had almost forgotten that I'm a girl who can talk my guy's ear off when I want to.

 Despite having another huge midterm tomorrow and a ton of studying to do tonight, I wasn't the least bit discouraged when I realize well over an hour had flown by and I hadn't so much as glanced at my notes sitting beside me. 

Going to bed very happy and content tonight!

That is after I study some more...ok...A LOT more!

This month needs to end.